Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 81. Positive affirmations kind of set the way how your day will flow. 21. Leave me a if you agree! Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 59. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 267. 200. A gummy bear. How do trees access the internet? I am full of vitality. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. 134. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde, 5. 36. 5. People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade. 149. - Roy T. Bennett. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. George Burns We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. 25. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks., 3. 155. Pat Sajak, 41. 182. 265.
39 Funny Positive Affirmations [Feel Happier Instantly] If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. I did it! 216. I stick to things until I get to my destination. Swimming trunks. Consider what you want to accomplish using these witty affirmations, and go for the ones that will bring you closer to that goal. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. Which affirmation put a smile on your face? 261. I am transforming into someone who is outgoing and makes others laugh. Begin your days with these powerful, funny affirmations for self-esteem. Education cost money. 24. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. So put on your favorite song, take a deep breath, and say these affirmations during your next tough time for some much-needed positivity! Socrates. - Jack London. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. avoid carbs. I am positive. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. 227. "Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life". Sincerely, the floor. Robert Bloch. 2. Gary Delaney
Short Funny Sayings People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade., 14. Well, life isn't just about glitz and glamour nor rainbows and butterflies. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. What do I do for a living? Whatever I do, I will do it for fun, but with dedication and focus. Unknown. No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart., 4. I honor that time.
Friday Affirmations: 20 Affirmations to Wind Down the Week What is the tallest building in the entire world? Positive mindset affirmations. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". Its what it is supposed to be, dont overthink and let it go. It takes so little to change your life! Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? It makes them so damned mad. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. 229. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Chop your own wood. Robert A. Heinlein, 243. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. Bill Murray Everyone brings happiness to this office. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. Short Funny Affirmations. I can always be fatter. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. Never let anyone waste your time twice. It will have a positive effect on your mind and body, and form an association between affirmations and a happy feeling. 154. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. 84. Today, I choose to put on my positive pants. You may think youll never get over it, but you will, and youll be fine., 7. 163. 141. Bill Gates. 133.
I am noticing that others are more drawn to me because I am funny.
50 Christian Affirmations to Quiet Anxiety & Renew Your Mind - byDeze Some when they enter, others when they leave. 88. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. 176. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . 85. 117. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Stop playing with me., 6. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. I choose to stop obsessing about my body. 7. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. My friends are like rocks, they help me through hard times. 73. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. You might use humor as a coping mechanism. 232. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 2. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. 97. I intend to live forever. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Dave Barry. 33. Because seven ate nine. 181. 53. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. 249. Albert Einstein I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. Enjoy! One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny.
INSPIRATIONAL positive mindset affirmation #shorts #short #shortvideo 222. Best friends eat your food. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. 54. 33. But sometimes affirmations may not work. I have committed to being my most outstanding self. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? Steven Alexander Wright. It's OK to take a break. 192. 24. 1. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Whatever you must do todaydo it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman cape., 2. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. You can make friends and have good relationships if you believe in your sense of humor and fill your mind with funny and positive thoughts. 277. Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. Walking into a room and then forgetting why I am here is my daily cardio. Emphasis on the cool. Frances McDormand The rest are too expensive. 66. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. 22. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits., 8. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. First, read the most powerful affirmations below to build a strong mind. 174. 17. 74. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. 13. Not everyone has good taste. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people., 5. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. 207. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. 249. No, but April may. 156. 233. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me. 91. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. 28. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Why cant you trust an atom? My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. 208. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full., 11. Read next: 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset, Posted on Published: January 26, 2023- Last updated: January 27, 2023, Home 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, Fabulous List Of 120 Cute Names To Call Your Crush, 120 Follow Your Dreams Quotes To Keep You On The Track. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. What do you call a bear with no teeth? Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Focus on the positives and be grateful. Say your affirmations slowly and clearly. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 40. 65. 120. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. Im like a postage stamp. Rather, the goal is to help kids recognize the truth, in situations and in themselves. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. I love my job only when Im on vacation. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. Friends buy you food. 92. 94. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Why become moody when you can shake your booty. 200. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. To conclude this list of funny affirmations, heres a few that are specifically focused around work. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? It has nothing new to tell you. Why was six scared of seven? I say what I want and i dont care what everyone else thinks about it. 110. It is already tomorrow in Australia.". Theres life without Facebook and internet? Its scary when it disappears. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. Helen Giangregorio "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". Albert Einstein. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. For beginners who still struggle with letting their voice out, I recommend starting with funny affirmations that will relax you and make you laugh. 226. Sincerely, yourself. 157. And a funny bone. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. Not everyone has good taste., 3. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 24. I wish my wallet came with free refills. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 104. 131. I should have theme music every time I enter a room. 15. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. 20. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 71. Frances McDormand, 42. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Ive been doing nothing for years. 193. Sam Levenson 236. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! Czech proverb Learn sign language, its very handy. A wishbone. How do trees access the internet? A backbone. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Why did the school kids eat their homework? I am changing all my useless things into something productive by working on them. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. Jackie Collins, 240. I release all shame about my body. Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. 209. "Life is like an elevator - Sometimes it stops. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I am lazy till I get a motive. I make the right choices every time. 204. In the morning, I cant get up. Self-worth has nothing to do with clothing size. I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. Be careful when you follow the masses. I never apologize. Why cant you trust an atom? Never judge a book by its movie. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on. Rodney Dangerfield. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. 1. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. 203. Groucho Marx. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them.
119 Positive Affirmations For Women To Use Daily - Live Bold and Bloom I am feeling wittier and more naturally funny. 10. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. 198. ( @malacollective) Fear and adventure go hand-in-hand when you're following your dreams. Decomposing. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. I am tough and resilient. 46. 43. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win., 5. They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
80 Funny Quotes To Make You Smile | Shutterfly - Ideas & Inspiration Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. 9. "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. 87. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. 56. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective.
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. 202. Send me the link. Be careful when you follow the masses. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 232. Stay focused and consistent, and youll start noticing the healing powers of humor and fun. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 72. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. 20.
100 Funny Christmas Quotes: Short Holiday Sayings - Parade They have shown me exactly who I do not want to be., 15. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case were having cake. 239. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. 41. 26. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. "It's only WednesdayHang in there!". I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. 224. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. I like expensive things because I learn the act of taking care from them. 3. 124. 27. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. 75. 150. 169. 1. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. He who laughs last didnt get it. Chris Rock, 256. 203. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. Make the statements about yourself and for yourself. 183. 119.
65 Funny Positive Affirmations That Work For Everyone - ThediaryforLife I will not let my mind be a bully to my body. 151.
64 Funny Quotes About Life That Are Painfully Accurate 168. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. - Christopher Reeve. I am calm, patient and at peace. We get so worried about being pretty lets be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong., 9. We have a connection. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 62. 109. Sincerely, the floor. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations. I will smile while I still have my teeth. 213. 272. 147. The thing is, I am still getting ready. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. Check out our funny affirmation selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. Most of the articles that Ive written about affirmations are about more serious topics: Lets keep things a little lighter in this article shall we? 181. 101. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. 187. No matter what a mess I am, my kids adore me. 67. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 143. Ted Turner.
40 Positive Affirmations to Repeat for Success and Happiness - Oprah Daily Henny Youngman, 246. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. If youre just starting your affirmation journey, you might feel skeptical at first. Jun 19, 2018 - Explore Jamie Hadland's board "funny/sarcastic affirmations" on Pinterest. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. 135. 62. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. I'm a peli-can! Shoot for the moon. Lorrin L. Lee.
154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember Dont drink to forget me, youll end up seeing me double. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash. 14. I nourish my body every day. "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Bill Murray. I am happy and joyful. I can have peace, even when people irritate me.. 269. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. Life always offers you a second chance. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? - Unknown. 5. Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that youll feel some weight come off your shoulders.f. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 137. Art doesnt transform. 48. Not me, but somebody does. Nothing, they just waved. 162.
110 Positive Funny Affirmations To Make You Smile Daily - The Random Vibez Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. A backbone. Some when they enter, some when they leave. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 140. 80 Soren Kierkegaard Quotes On Love, Life And Philosophy, Top 90 Martin Luther King Jr. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. Ken Dodd, 255. I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. "Being funny doesn't take much effort.". Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 211. I dont worry about getting older. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. When the past comes knocking, dont answer. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 48. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Inbox. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. 151.
Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret Look, youre smiling! My farts aren't nearly as bad as my dogs'. 61. What do you call a bear with no teeth? Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . 70. 147. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry.
99 Positive Morning Affirmations You Can Use Daily Without further ado, let's look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. 61. 103. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Lily Tomlin, 242. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. Theres no stopping me now. Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. When life closes a door, just open it again. 46. 262. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. 140. So, why not team them up? I am awesome. Loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step in making these funny positive affirmations work for you. 128. -Gandhi.
100+ weird quotes that make no sense at all but are funny Everyone brings happiness to this office. Sam Levenson. I am strong and getting stronger every day. Its okay, he woke up. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Here's some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. Lily Tomlin 122. 197. Snowballs. 99. Life begins on Friday night. You may hear crickets when you try to tell a joke. Never take life seriously. 269. Don't forget to be awesome. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. Im thinking like a proton, always positive., 9. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. grateful. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 254. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. 213. 14. 162. I am so f*cking awesome. 64. Dont forget to drink water and get some sun. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. 116. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. I am intelligent. 115. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. 52. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 165. 1. Have a look! 2. 18. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. I am grateful for all that I have. 273. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. 240. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". I am finding fun and joy in everything I do and everywhere I go. I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. Ive made it from the bed to the couch.
Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret Im not lazy, Im just very relaxed. I dont suffer from insanity. HAM AND EGGS A days work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. 12. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life.